Why Won’t My Newborn Sleep Unless They’re on Me? Real talk from a Wigan mum (and baby photographer)

It’s 2 am. You’re rocking your baby again. You try to lower them into the cot like a ninja... and boom ... eyes open, arms flail, and the crying starts all over again.

You’re not imagining it: your newborn really does seem to only sleep if they’re on you.And yes, it’s exhausting, confusing, and totally normal.

Here’s what I wish someone had told me when I was in the thick of it:

Newborn Baby feet wrapped in a white blanket, by a Wigan Newborn and Family photographer

🍼 Why won’t they sleep in their cot?

1. You’re their home. For 9 months, they’ve been held non-stop. Warmth, heartbeat, movement, you are literally their comfort zone.

2. The cot feels cold and still. To a newborn, a flat, quiet cot can feel weird and unfamiliar. On your chest? Feels like home.

3. They don’t know the difference between day and night. Their circadian rhythm isn’t built yet, so they want closeness, not space.

4. They’re biologically wired for contact. Babies are born to attach, it’s a survival thing. You’re not spoiling them. You’re just being their safe space.
   

😩 What helped me (a little)

Let’s be real... nothing magically “fixed” it overnight. But a few things helped take the edge off:

• White noise Shushing, womb sounds, or even the hairdryer helps for some babies.

• Wearing the scent of their sleep space I’d sleep with their muslin or blanket for a night so it smelled like me, then tuck it safely under the cot sheet during naps.
  

  NOTE: For safe sleep.... It’s always recommended not to place loose items in the cot, so make sure it’s securely under the fitted sheet and can’t move around.
  

• Warming the cot I used a hot water bottle (taken out before putting baby down!) just to take the chill off. It helped with the “cold mattress shock.”

• Safe babywearing for naps Sometimes I just gave up and popped them in a sling while I watched something or listened to music. It gave us both a break and at least one of us got some rest.
  

  Always follow safe babywearing guidelines: upright position, visible face, and good airflow. And as tempting as it is...don’t fall asleep with your baby on your chest. It’s not considered safe sleep.
  

• Accepting contact naps are not failure If they sleep best on you, it’s okay. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it gently.
  

🧠 A little mindset shift

You’re not creating bad habits. You’re meeting your baby’s needs, and one day they’ll sleep in their own space without even thinking about it.

But right now? You’re doing the night shifts of the most intense bonding there is. It’s hard, I know. But it’s not forever. ✨ You’re doing better than you think.If your baby only sleeps on you.....Congratulations! You're their favourite person. 🤍

📸 From a Wigan mum ( Newborn and Family photographer)

Ready to Capture These Precious Moments? Motherhood is messy, beautiful, and fleeting and you deserve to remember it just as it is, but with a touch of magic. If you're in Wigan or nearby and you're ready to freeze these moments in time, I'd love to hear from you.

Get in touch, and let's create something truly meaningful together. 💛

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